Schwarzenegger reveals he had child with staffer

Actually her obvious hotness aside, I’ve never been that crazy about Ms. Fox.  To me she has too much potential to go Lohan on us at any moment.

Transformers 2 comes out today and while I usually take what most movie critics say with a grain of salt, I thought I’d pass along Ebert’s review since he can still review the hell out of a movie.  Sneak peak, to say he didn’t like it would be an understatement.  I’m shocked since the first one broke new ground in plot/character development.  I was hoping the discussions of the sequel at the leading universities of the world would raise human intelligence by mere osmosis as they ponder the multi-layered intricacies of the plot.   Alas, I guess not ..

“Best superhero movie EVER!!!!!!!”
“Heath ledger should get an OSCAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“The Dark Knight has rendered all other movies irrelevant”

These comments are not atypical of the hype ascribed to The Dark Knight, the latest installment in Christopher Nolans’s reboot of the Batman franchise. So did it live up to that hype? In short, no, but really no movie could. Instead what we have is a solidly crafted, exceedingly nihilistic, tightly wound thriller. Probably the biggest compliment I can give this film is that it completely transcended the comic book genre and became a legitimately good film on its own merits, a summertime blockbuster that isn’t carried by its superhero taking on bad guys.

Be warned this is not your typical comic book movie. Frankly, it’s not really an action movie, either, although the action sequences are breathtaking. It’s a very complex, multi-layered drama. Perhaps a tad too complex — the plotline is difficult to follow, particularly if you haven’t seen Batman Begins recently.

The characters are all very well written and portrayed. As reported by almost everyone, Ledger was excellent. His performance is one for the ages, but like Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas, it’s a one-note performance. But man it’s one helluva note. There is growing Oscar buzz for his performance and it is justified, particularly in an era of filmmaking when such “intellectual masterpieces” as Forrest Gump, Titanic and Gladiator have all won Best Picture Oscars. I’ll find it hilarious if the voters get snooty about “artistic legitimacy” and refuse to vote for Ledger because his character is based on a comic book.

Bale, Eckhart, Caine, Freeman, Oldman, etc. were all good in their roles. I’ve read critics complain that Bale’s performance is wooden, almost robotic. But to me, that is exactly what the role calls for, nothing bad, nothing good, just is. Caine and Freeman did the most with what they had, which wasn’t much, but given the ambitious scope of this film it is probably best that their roles were limited. The weakest link is Aaron Eckhart and yet he’s a fine actor who does a nice job and in any other movie his performance would be great — but he’s like a solid No. 5 starter in a rotation full of All-Stars.

What I didn’t like …

*** Warning Spoilers Ahead ***

First, the length. I guess we got our money’s worth, but this really felt like one and a half movies. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the Harvey Dent subplot, but I don’t understand why they couldn’t keep the audience guessing by holding Harvey’s little accident for the next film. This was Ledger’s film and I couldn’t help but feel that this movie could have used a little more Joker. I understand, that no one outside of the Olsen twins could have predicted Ledger’s premature demise, but I have a feeling that they were deliberately holding back the Joker for the next film. For obvious reasons, we’ll never know where the Joker storyline would have gone.

My only other major complaint was Maggie Gyllenhaal. This is going to sound cruel, and maybe it is, but to me she is the modern-day embodiment of Olive Oyl, minus the charm. And while in other works, she is 1000x the actress of Katie Holmes, she is miscast in this film. She did her best with the only predictable role in the film but just about everything they did with her was a romance/love triangle cliché.

My final verdict: this is a solid and at times spectacular film. A little tighter editing and it may have been a true masterpiece. Alas, my final opinion lies in the vast space between the rapturous majority and this utterly pretensious reviewer (who BTW loved Adam Sandler’s performance in Zohan so take his opinion with a grain of salt).  

From the Guardian article:

This latest real-life drama looks likely to amplify the buzz still further.

Nothing amplifies the buzz of a movie like the star putting a good beat-down on his mom and sister.  Who writes this crap?

First, let me start by saying that I really wanted to like this movie, I honestly did. I went in with an open mind. However, after my initial viewing I must say that I was very unimpressed. To be honest, it sucked. It’s as if 20 years later, people NOT named Spielberg and Lucas decided to make an Indiana Jones film using a formula that they did not fully understand.

*** Warning – spoilers ahead ***

Overly long with a plot thinner than Hillary’s chances, there’s more heart shown by Michael Scott in a typical 5 minute snippet of The Office than in all 2 hours of this film. But most of all, it’s just plain bizarre. I mean, seriously, aliens??? Watching Indy 4 is like staring at a painting you hate for 2+ hours.

Where do I start? First, the cinematography is awful, easily the worst of the 4 films. The movie looked like it was filmed on sets and green screens. Fine for films set in space. Bad for movies that have a root in the real world. Everything looked fake. I don’t remember the earlier movies doing that much with special effects, which made the action sequences in those films that much more interesting.

The plot is a mess. There is a TON of filler, and most of it lay in the early stages. The opening chase is virtually worthless, and only serves to introduce the stage of immediate subsequent action. Were they trying to convey not only an Indiana Jones who completely lost his mojo, but who was willing to help the Soviets just to stay alive? He seemed to have no problem helping the bad guys, since his plan in the end seemed to be “escape by punching someone in the face.”

Also, that crate at the beginning was selectively magnetic (as was the skull later in the film). The dudes carrying it had no issues with it pulling their guns from their backs, but they walked by other dudes with weapons, and they were all pulled toward the crate? A detail Lucas and Spielberg used to think of in their sleep.

The two subsequent chases, climaxing with the romp through New Haven, are largely rote exercises. Some very clumsy cuts camoflaguing liberal use of Ford’s double don’t help the cause. The good, old feel simply isn’t there, neither in action nor dialogue.

Later in the movie, Indy again shows just how happy he is to help the bad guys, and instead of the scene paying off with him mistranslating John Hurt’s drawings to put the Soviets on the wrong path, it turns into an escape. WHICH INDY THEN SPENDS THE WHOLE TIME BITCHING ABOUT. So what was the plan, Indy? Help the Soviets find this temple, then hope they don’t shoot you?

The son was the easy cliche. Superman showed the folly of it two years ago, and Spielberg and Lucas went to it anyway. Though the “he’s your son!” reveal was handled in a nice, entertaining way, that scene looked like it was filmed on one of the sets left over from Land of the Lost.

The swordfight on the back of the cars was a great idea on paper, but it’s execution was awful (again thanks to the overuse of CGI). Did you ever see the swords actually hit each other? I started to get nervous when they actually showed him between cars and a plant almost hit him. But he dodged that bullet, then he got hit. In the nuts. By a CGI plant. Heehee, how funny. And when Shia LeBouf (who actually did a nice job with the material he had) started doing the Tarzan thing with the legion of CGI monkeys, I almost walked out.

Then there is the ending. I was laughing my ass of by the end because it was so bad. I mean, aliens? A spaceship? Seriously? It just felt like Lucas/Spielberg had no idea how to end this one and said “Have the aliens fly away, people will still pay to see it.”

Overall, I did like Cate Blanchett’s bad guy. Would have liked to see more character than just a hinting at psychic powers, which we of course never really heard about again. Kind of like Indy’s trouble with the government. he goes from being on the watch list to being named associate dean, while the dean also got his job back! Yipee!!!!!! And the wedding ties it all up with a nice little bow!!!!! I did like the last shot. I started to groan as Shia picked up the hat. And in a better movie, would have cheered when Indy grabbed it from him. Instead, it was just a sigh of relief.

I know, I know. “It’s only a movie!!!!” Yup. And yet people still bitch about Phantom Menace, don’t they? This film was as bad as people said the Star Wars prequels were. That all said, I’ll see it again (on video), just to see if my initial reactions were correct. Serious Jones fans should not be discouraged from attending but should be prepared for a major letdown. There were parts that were fun and entertaining, but the storyline was so ridiculous you’ll be laughing at the end. I’ll give it two stars, mostly for some of the special effects and nostalgia for the characters. Hopefully they can do better in the next film, tentatively called “Indiana Jones and the Prune Juice of Tut”.